Engagement rings and wedding bands have long been a custom in Western culture. They date back to ancient Egypt, when it was believed that a ring’s circular shape was a symbol of endless love, and that the opening was a gateway to the events of a life spent together. The ring would be placed on the fourth finger of the left hand – believed to contain what the Romans eventually named the “vena amoris,” or “vein of love” - connecting straight to the heart.
It sounds romantic and all, but marriage has had a rockier past than this little tidbit of history would lead you to believe. Throughout the better part of the past 2000 years, Western marriage was more of a contract for the ownership and control of women than a celebration of love and partnership. As a woman, and a feminist to boot, it can be difficult to fully appreciate the custom.
Fortunately for me, my fellow lady folk, and really anyone who one day wants to marry, while the symbol of engagement and wedding rings remain, the rules of Western engagements and marriages have changed significantly. Thanks to people who became fed up with the status quo, marriages are now partnerships, and in more progressive states in the US it’s a custom everyone is allowed to take part in and benefit from.
Part of the reason I’m really digging working at Turtle Love Co. is that our philosophy stresses the importance of creating a more open and inclusive engagement and wedding culture – one that supports equality and personal expression.
Some people don’t believe in marriage because of its less than ideal past, but like any custom, there is always the option to make it your own. Preserve the points of tradition that work for you and leave the rest in the history books. Or even better – you can create your own traditions. The more our marriage experiences vary, the more open the cultural landscape of marriage becomes.
Even the ancient custom of presenting your partner with engagement ring is fully customizable. If you are a vintage and thrift-store maven or antiques aficionado, a vintage engagement ring might be the best match for your personality. If you like the outdoors and all things natural, you’d probably like a band with an organic twist or an eco-friendly and conflict-free ring. If you aren’t fond of diamonds and love a flash of color, a gemstone engagement ring is probably more your style. I’m crazy about purple, so the main stone of my engagement ring is a brilliant cut amethyst – it’s not very traditional, but neither am I.
The point is to choose what makes you happy and what feels right - to not be scared of bending traditions and customs in a way that works for you. Diversity within wedding culture is a beautiful thing - it helps create a more accepting climate and happier, healthier couples.