My wedding ended up being the complete opposite of everything I wanted, right down to the smallest details. I wanted an indoor winter wedding with 20-30 guests - I ended up with an outdoor summer wedding with a guest list of over 150. I wanted my husband and his groomsmen to wear grey suits, and they ended up with black tuxedos. I wanted tulips and got hydrangeas. The list goes on and on.

This sounds like the perfect recipe for a grade-A bridezilla, right?

Fortunately for myself and everyone involved in helping me plan my wedding, I was able to quiet the beast and rouse my inner Dude.

If you haven’t seen a little film called The Big Lebowski, you don’t know what I’m talking about and you have my sympathy. Do yourself a favor and see it. See it twice, even if you don’t like it the first time. Like many of the most delightful things in life, The Big Lebowski is a masterpiece that gets better with age.

Without giving away any major spoilers, I will outline the premise of the movie and give you a little glimpse into the essence of one of film’s most awesome (even inspirational!) characters.

The Big Lebowski’s protagonist is The Dude - given name Jeffrey Lebowski - played by Jeff Bridges. The Dude gets roughed-up and threatened by two thugs who break into his house, looking to collect money from a local millionaire who happens to have the same name. It doesn’t take them long to figure out that he is not the millionaire Lebowski, based on his meager dwelling and unaffected attitude, but one of them takes the opportunity to relieve himself on The Dude’s rug before exiting the scene.

The Dude is a man so laid-back, so mellow that he hardly musters a reaction throughout the entire ordeal. The only emotion he shows is disappointment that his rug - which really brought the room together - has been ruined. After speaking with his bowling buddies (played brilliantly by John Goodman and Steve Buscemi) over the course of a game, he decides to confront The Big Lebowski and ask to be reimbursed for his ruined rug. As is the case for most movies, he gets more than he bargained for.

As an ambitious perfectionist, and a lady with an anxious demeanor, The Dude is my polar opposite in almost every respect - and just who I need to channel when I’m at my most stressed.

Without further ado, I present to you:

5 Ways to Combat Wedding Woes, Inspired by The Dude:

1. Go bowling.

Your flowers aren’t important. The caterers don’t exist. The bridesmaids dresses are a distant memory - your goal is to knock over 10 little white pins. If you can’t leave the wedding world behind you for a few strings, try imagining each pin as a particularly difficult member of your family.

2. Whip up some white russians.

Listen, I’m in no way implying that alcohol should be used to alter your mood or solve your problems, I just think the white russian is the most delicious beverage on the planet. Enjoy the creamy goodness.

3. Spend time in your pajamas.

The Dude constantly looks like he just rolled out of bed, because I’m fairly certain he always just has. If everything is bananas and nothing is going right, take a day to chill out in your pjs and ignore all the crazy for a while.

4. Go for a drive.

This helped me a lot during my most stressed-out moments. It doesn’t matter where you go - just go. Focus on the road, listen to music, and don’t look at the time. Just drive and clear your mind. Things will seem simpler after you’re spent some time on the road.

Lastly, and most importantly:

5. Don’t give a $&#%.

I can’t stress this enough. As a person who cares too much about the inconsequential, I can tell you that the main reason I loved my wedding is because I made the conscious decision to let the little things go. I decided to accept what I couldn’t control - which, when you’re planning a wedding, is a LOT - and realize that whatever choices ended up being made, the day would turn out amazing.

The flowers weren’t what I wanted, but I knew they would be pretty anyway, so I went with it. The dress styles I liked best didn’t come in my size, but I knew I could make any dress work with some tailoring. The food, the location, the tuxes, everything - not getting my number one choice for any of those things was SO not the end of the world. In reality, a lot of the compromises ended up being just as special and beautiful as what I originally wanted. The more perspective you have, and the more you consider what is best for your own sanity and wallet, the happier you will be.

If you’re anything like me, your own wedding day will be amazing because the most important choice you’ve made is who you’re walking down the aisle to, or who is walking down the aisle to you: The person who brings your room together.