Q: How much should you spend on an engagement ring?

A: Whatever makes sense in the context of YOUR LIFE, and YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Leave aside those crazy monthly salary calculations, and instead consider:

1. Do you have any money? Don’t put yourself in an awkward financial situation for a bit of bling.

2. Does your partner want to wear a ring? It’ll be kind of dumb to spend a lot of money on something your love won’t wear.

3. What kind of gift do you want to give? This is a lot about the person who’s going to wear the ring, but it’s also about the kind of gift you want to give. You don’t want to resent an expense that you didn’t care to incur in the first place, but you don’t want to feel like you don’t like the gift you gave.

4. How do you and your love see yourselves and your relationship in the larger societal context? This is not a right-wrong question. One of the main purposes of an engagement ring is to serve as a social signifier. We use these articles to show others our social position, without the use of words. A no-frills ring tells folks that you’re taken, but not fussy. In our conversations with bricks-and-mortar retail jewelers, it’s been interesting to hear about disconnects between partners, where one partner is really interested in outward demonstrations of affection/wealth/status, and the other isn’t. Figuring out how you each think about money and public image is a conversation that’ll prove useful down the road.

5. How much wear and tear will any such ring likely see? This can go two ways: if it’ll see a lot of wear, go for gold or platinum, with a flush or bezel-set stone. On the other hand, if your love is likely to lose it, and you think you’ll have to buy another one, maybe you shouldn’t spend too much. We’ve had customers who buy multiple wedding rings for a single person, just to make sure that there’s a backup when the first (or second) ring gets lost!